Start dating again after divorce
The first man I dated asked me to take the Five Love Languages Quiz.
I remembered taking the quiz when I was married, and as I answered questions from my newly single perspective, I had the realization that I had what was important in a relationship this time around—all bets were off.
After about 10 uninspiring dates, I turned to my friend, a seasoned online-dater, bemoaning my lack of success.
Her unsympathetic response was “You’ve only had 10 dates?
You can explore things that were not part of your marriage or your self-concept when you were married. You also don’t need to be perfectly healed in order to start dating.
In fact, it is through the process of dating that some of the healing will take place.
As you go through the process of divorce, there is often a desire to either run from the pain of the failed marriage into the distraction of a relationship or to shut yourself off from it, immersing yourself in work, kids, working out or wounded isolation.
First of all, before you even start dating, you need to give yourself time to heal, to get your new life in order and to learn how to be on your own.
Bush (the elder) was in office and college provided all the men I needed to choose from.And at some point, even if you’re nervous about it, you just need to start: The next stage is to launch a profile and enter into the brave new world of online date shopping.This is a fertile ground for seeing how your process of dating can be your own worst enemy or your guide to fulfillment, seeing where more growth and healing lies, for discovering who you are and are becoming—and for having a lot of fun, too.You will gain perspective on your marriage and yourself, and learn about things you want and don’t want in a relationship this time around.You also will learn how to be a girlfriend/boyfriend rather than a spouse, which will take some time, especially if you spent a good part of your adulthood in a marriage.