Dating someone who has lost a child nye dating sider Ringsted
If the complexity of my situation put doubts in my own mind, no wonder it was ringing alarm bells among the women I was chatting with online.
Fellow single parents were those I seemed to have most in common with, because divorce and separation involve a kind of grieving process.
It was obvious that for many single women my situation was way too complicated.
After a while, this series of let-downs became rather depressing.
And so I launched myself tentatively into the online dating scene, a brave new world to me.
There are so many dating sites out there and it became obvious that there is something for all objectives.
Then there were the high expectations – women writing that they were looking for a "knight in shining armour" (I'll get my sword and shield), "Mr Darcy" (I'll get my top hat and tails), "Mr Grey" (I'll get my riding crop and restraints). If they didn't want kids, then why would they take on mine?
Reactions to my situation online were as varied as in real life – ranging from sympathy to avoidance, inquisitiveness and morbid curiosity. And if they did want kids, there must be plenty more eligible bachelors out there.
And do I really want any more children, considering how a baby could impact on my children's world, which has already been turned upside down?
This came out of the blue from my seven-year-old daughter Isabella – but then, little about our recent family life had been expected.
My children lost their mother, Carolina, to breast cancer in June 2013. When she was terminally ill, we left our house, jobs and schools and moved back to the UK from abroad.
For some women, the discovery of my widowed status was clearly a deal breaker; the communication dried up, and I could understand why.
After all, it's a very crowded dating market out there – and grief is a long way from romance.